Right here: Why presence can be an act of healing

Part of Walking the GoHealth Way blog series

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There is an African greeting for the morning:

How are you?

And the answer is:

I am well, if you are well.

It is a beautiful expression of something we have been exploring throughout this series: we are not separate from one another. Our lives are entangled. How you are matters to how I am.

But what if things are not well?

Being in pain, or being in the presence of pain, is not easy. The scream of a baby with an ear infection. Drinking tea with some lost in grief. The moment when anger flares and someone loses control. The person who has gone quiet and withdrawn. The leader who seems to be coping, but whose body and behaviour tell another story.

The instinct most of us have when we encounter pain is to do something. Solve something. Say something useful. Make it stop. It is because we care, and also because we are connected. As we explored in the first blog, another person’s pain can sometimes resonate with us. We can feel it, connect with it – and it hurts. So we want to make it better. And sometimes we want to rush to fix because sitting with pain feels unbearable.

But often the first healing gift is not an answer. It is another human being who is sufficiently grounded, compassionate and attentive to remain present. Someone who does not turn away. Someone who can listen without immediately trying to solve. Someone who can communicate, simply by being there: you are not alone, you don’t have to make this easier for me, I am not going to leave you to face this alone.

This is part of what trauma-informed practice helps us understand. Difficult behaviour, withdrawal or numbing may be adaptations rather than failures. Our bodies can respond to threat before our rational minds have caught up. What looks like anger, resistance, avoidance or disengagement may have a story behind it. If we understand this, our first question can become less, “What is wrong with you?” and more, “Why the pain?” And “What might help?”

And that matters because safety matters. Trauma can shape individuals, leaders, congregations and whole organisations. It can shape the ways we relate to one another, the assumptions we make, the ways we respond under pressure and the stories we tell about ourselves and others.

Slowing down can sometimes allow pain that has been held at bay to emerge. This is one of the fascinating and sometimes difficult realities of wellbeing: pain can surface when people finally become safe enough to feel it. Someone may begin to grieve only when they are finally in a place where they do not have to hold everything together. Someone who has spent years surviving may discover, when life becomes safer, that there are things that need attention.

This means that wellbeing is not merely knowledge or a collection of strategies. Overwork, anger, feeling unseen, numbing behaviours and other struggles can be entangled with deeper wounds and trauma. Sometimes what looks like a problem to be fixed is a signal that something needs to be noticed, understood and held with compassion.

Christian ministry has a powerful language for this: accompaniment, incarnation and presence. Jesus does not remain at a safe distance from human suffering – he entered human life. He stopped. He listened. He asks: ‘What is it that you want?’

At GoHealth, we take Jesus’ example seriously. We learn to become people who can be present to ourselves, to one another and to the world around us; people who can be present to pain.

But presence needs wisdom. Trauma-informed does not mean amateur therapy, and compassionate ministry does not mean trying to carry what belongs to someone else. Boundaries matter. Safeguarding matters. Knowing our limits matters. A theological understanding of healing matters. Sometimes the most healing thing we can do is listen, notice and stay alongside someone – and sometimes the most healing thing we can do is help them find the right professional or practical support.

At GoHealth, we have asked ourselves what would it mean for individuals and churches to become a safer presence as part of understanding the Christian healing ministry? What would change if our churches became places where people did not have to hide their pain in order to belong? What would it mean for our leadership, our worship, our pastoral care and our communities to orientate around a deeper and theologically safe healing ministry and adopt an holistic approach?

This is part of what we mean by becoming a healing presence. It shapes our approach to safeguarding, trauma-informed ministry, compassionate listening, healthy boundaries and healing ministry. It is part of the vision behind our Healthy Healing Hubs: churches exploring together what it might mean to become communities where people can experience welcome, dignity, safety, belonging and the possibility of flourishing.

Because sometimes healing begins before anything is said or done. It begins when someone discovers that they do not have to face their pain alone. It begins when another human being has the courage to stay, to listen, to notice and to say, in a hundred different ways: I am here. You matter. You belong.

This is the GoHealth Way: not having all the answers, but learning how to become a healing presence to meet the pain of the world, in the name of Jesus Christ.

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Your next step

• Join The GoHealth Community for weekly resources and a place to be seen
• Listen to a podcast on Chaplaincy and the ministry of presence
• Reflect with The Archbishop of Canterbury on healing and the church
• Explore online training in Being Trauma Informed and healthy work practices

Go to the next blog in The GoHealth Way series

Go deeper into The GoHealth Way with our reflective online course

The GoHealth Way is our shared way of living, leading and working for healing, hope and belonging. It grows from a simple conviction: we are not meant to heal alone. We become more attentive to ourselves, to one another, to our communities and to the world around us – and, in doing so, we can join in with what God is already doing.

This course introduces the vision, values, theology and practices that shape the GoHealth Way. It explores our story and history, the change we long to see in the world, and what it means to nurture flourishing and reduce suffering. It also recognises that this way of living can be costly, so we explore the importance of rest, renewal, community and the things that bring us alive.

This isn’t simply a course to complete. It is an invitation to a way of life we are learning together.

Along the way, you’ll be invited to reflect on your own life, the difference you want to make in the world, and whether you might want to join us in building a movement of healing, hope and belonging.

What you’ll explore

• The story and vision of GoHealth
• Our theology of Christian health and healing
• Belonging and why it matters for healing
• The values and principles that shape our work
• What it means to be a healing presence
• Our approach to health, wellbeing and flourishing
• Our history and the impact we are seeking to make
• How you can join in