Maundy Thursday

I locked the door behind us once we were all inside. It was Passover so the city was rammed, and, in my opinion, this was not a great time to suddenly take our mission public. But we could relax for a bit now. We sat and talked like we always do, but something felt different. Jesus was agitated, and in a hurry. He kept glancing at the door, eyes darting to each of us. He looked worried; he looked like he wanted us to do or say something, I couldn’t work it what would make it better. Why, when he had the people praising him and our mission was gaining in purpose and focus, did he still keep doing crazy things like washing our feet. Everything is going fine, great even – why can’t he just see that. 

There had been expectation within Judaism that a Messiah would come to free them and at the time of Jesus, living under the occupation of the Roman Empire, this expectation was high and fervent. The biblical texts and other contemporary writings usually spoke of this event in terms of power, regal returns, and overturning society in a spectacular way.  

But there is also a collection of texts in the Hebrew bible, ancient threads of thoughts, that indicated that whatever the coming of God looks like, it would be through pain and suffering; that love and service would be at the heart of the next chapter of the story of God’s people. It was this ancient thread that God begins to tug at tonight through Jesus, and a very different picture of the Kingdom began to be revealed.  

As if to ratify his ministry up to this point, this holy night delivers the beginnings of the body of Christ after the resurrection, the church founded on service and held together by love. This – Jesus seems to scream by his actions – is why I healed the leper, spoke to the outcast, refused to play power games.  

Then he goes into the night, into the Garden of Gethsemane to struggle with the future he must face. He goes into the night of human doubt, the darkness of fear, and the ultimate loneliness that we must all face. He even asks God to take the cup away from him.  

The sin of papering over this struggle has long haunted the church, and indeed blights lives, when the papering over of fear and anxiety slips into escapism and false securities. Less dramatically, the papering over reality is seen when we hold up false expectations like, illness and suffering is wrong and not simply part of life.  

Because in the garden two important feelings coexist for Jesus – the desire to avoid suffering, and the acceptance of what he must face. In the garden, Jesus looked into the human condition, and he doesn’t flinch away or back away from it. Here, doubt and despair coexist with faith. This took courage and it takes courage for us to do this today.  

It’s a tough scene, but it is in the earlier part of the evening that we can find help with holding fear and faith together – ‘A new command I give you: love one another as I have loved you’. This is at the heart of being a Christian – it happens in community, and it is in community with others that we find the strength not only to face reality but to face our own fears. And not as a sticking plaster for the harshness of the world, but because it is in relationships of love with one another, that we find affirmation of who we are – children of God, loved beyond all measure, even in the darkest moments.  

The scenes of Maundy Thursday from the upper room and deep into the garden, help us to find God in the suffering, find ourselves in community and the courage to deeply participate in reality. It is the courage to be when despair coexists with faith.  

He left suddenly and took us into the night and into the garden. At least it was quiet there, away from the crowds. We tried to stay together the best we could, but it wasn’t easy. We still didn’t know what was happening. He wanted us to stay awake, and I wanted to. I could see that he was upset, I could hear him crying. It was just easier to fall asleep to escape the world for a bit. Suddenly there was a commotion, and soldiers were there. My heart jumped, my fear and anxiety spiked. Just when it was going so well. Just when we had the power and the people were with us. But, he seemed to have a different fire in his eyes now. He looked straight at the soldiers.  

Prayer  

For courage to look at life as it is 

For courage to dispense with false ideas about power and control  

Help me Lord, to understand more deeply how to love, and to serve 

If the church is the body of Christ, make it a place where we love and serve, to reveal your purpose in the world, my purpose in the world 

Where there is the intermingling of despair and faith, please let me know your presence and what the next step is.  

For your names sake  

Strength my heart 

Amen